UGH, this is not how I wanted the day to go. When I went in and told her my symptoms seem to be worsening, I’m having a really hard time with the nausea and I’ve noticed a roughly four week cycle with flares, she said it was time to pull out the big guns.

Yep, the news I’ve been dreading – it’s time to have the PICC line put in.

I completely lost it when she said that and just absolutely cried my eyes out in the exam room. I am terrified of having the PICC line placed, I’m scared of the higher risk of infection (it basically goes to your heart!), I’m worried about having it in around a toddler who won’t understand, I’m worried about if I’m going to be able to continue to work with it, I’m worried about how my skin is going to react to the adhesive….

I guess I’m pretty much worried about everything!

She has an infusion center in her office so she sent me back there to get my first dosage today. I walk back there and they have big comfy recliners with IV poles everywhere. There’s a TV and several people were in there having treatments all at the same time. Meanwhile, I was a blubbering mess and couldn’t even talk I was crying so hard. I’m sure the nurse who started my IV thought I had lost my ever loving mind that I was bawling like a baby over a needle stick. But I wasn’t even worried about that IV, it’s what comes next.

I have horrible veins – they’re small and deep – so she had to put the IV in the crook of my arm. I had to sit there for 30 minutes with my arm completely straight at a weird angle while the medicine dripped in. They have to do one infusion in the office to watch for an allergic reaction.

After it finally finished and I calmed down a little bit, they gave me my instructions for tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 9am. I’ll have the PICC in place for a minimum of 4 weeks and up to a maximum of 12 weeks. They’re estimating I’ll need it for 4-6 weeks. During that time, I’ll do daily infusions at home and a nurse will come to our house once a week to change the dressing. My infusions will be 1 gram of Rocephin which should take about 30 minutes a day to do. It’s possible they will have to increase me to 2 grams at some point. All of my supplements will stay the same.

The ONLY good news with this that I see right now is that the nausea should be taken care of and no longer be an issue for me.

I came home, cried some more and called my boss to get the day off tomorrow for the procedure. Everything I’ve read online says it’s not bad, it’s just sore and feels weird for a week or so after it’s placed.

I’m sure I won’t sleep tonight. Wish me luck.